Back with a VengeancePosted: August 10, 2009
Your initial response to my long-awaited return to the blogging world was an incredible one.
I can’t believe the number of views I got, and I was honestly touched by those that left comments.
What’s interesting about the comments is they come from a mixed group of people that know me in a variety of ways. Some are current co-workers that know somethings about me.
Some are former co-workers that know different things about me. One is a blog friend — and, um, one of my first true blog crushes (why? because if I can write anything like she can, then I know I’m good) — and another is someone who has known me since college.
An interesting perspective, and apparently, you all think I have something of interest to say — or at the very least, you, and the others that are reading me, have an interest in what I’m saying — if that makes any sense.
Maybe you do think I’m profound or something. Or maybe you like watching an emotional train wreck. I’m not sure. Either way, I am glad you are here.
And, remember, believe it or not, this isn’t about you. This is about me.
That’s a hard thing these days — about me.
You want openness? Well, then I only have one big question these days.
It’s kind of a doozy.
Who am I?
Because, honestly, there are days that I don’t know. And there are a lot of reasons for that — some of which you may learn about here. Some of which you may not. Jury is still out on that one.
But, I need to sort some things out — for me.
Some brief examples — just to give you a glimpse — if you, in fact, want to take it.
Why am I still struggling — and sometimes rather significantly — with Tim’s death?
Am I good dad? No, really.
And for the record, I’m not asking you to answer any of these. I’m just, well, sharing. You know, putting it out there.
Have I lessened my credibiility as a ‘good friend’ — which, by the way, is something I inspire to be for everyone — because of how I’ve treated what I thought was one of my closest?
How am I really going to deal with what will be, probably, the most significant loss in my life yet — and, if you believe medical reports, it’s one that’s not that far away (in the grand scheme of things).
How come I’ve let myself down on something I was doing so well with and so proud of — until the last half year or so?
So, yeah. There it is. Cards on the table. No elephants in this room.
This is what you came back for. Hope you do stay around. I understand if you don’t, but I certainly hope that you do.
You are more than welcome to stay. But just remember one thing —
It’s all about me.