The Pressure to, Um, Perform

So, now I’ve done it. Well, Molly’s done it, actually.

Thanks to her link yesterday, hundreds more of you have made your way to my little corner of cyberspace. And I appreciate you coming by. I really do.

The pictures of my kids drew more than five times my normal visitors on Monday. And, so far, already today (and I’m writing this at 2:45 a.m….don’t ask), I’ve already received double my usual traffic. And that’s because, according to WordPress, I had a ‘top post’ yesterday and I’m on the list of ‘growing blogs.’

Great stuff. Honest.

But scary, too. Well, OK, scary’s a bit strong. But you know what I mean.

This happened one other time. And I feel like I’ve got to perform now. This is where the thoughts enter my head like, “Hmmm, more people came yesterday. What great post can I put up today in order to keep them if they come back for another look?”

Well, here it is. Because this issue brings up the dilemma I think all bloggers face.

I love the traffic. It’s validation that people at least have some interest in what I’m saying. There’s something incredibly rewarding about that — knowing that you came here to see what I had to say. Or, OK, you came to see more pics of the kids.

Whatever it is, you’re here.

But, then, at the same point, I shouldn’t feel pressure to deliver for you. That’s not why I started this. (Or is it?)

No, I started this for me. My thoughts. My outlet. It shouldn’t matter how many people read it.

Then why does it? Why do I get excited and nervous at the same time? Why do I wonder, ‘hmmm, will they like me and what I have to say, or do they just like the kids? Will they come back, or is this a one shot deal?’

I guess the bottom line is that this space is mine. Sometimes I think it’s very good, from a writing perspective. And sometimes it’s crap from a writing perspective. But it’s my good, and it’s my crap. It wasn’t meant for you — at least not originally.

But, things change.

The fact is, I’m glad you’re here. I really am. (I think.)

Pull up a chair. Take a look around. You might just like what’s here. And if you don’t, that’s fine, too.


9 Comments on “The Pressure to, Um, Perform”

  1. JC says:

    It’s like being an artist or a musician.

    1. It is an outlet – and your artistry is your writing.
    2. Validation that you’re good by peers and strangers is good – but your real validation comes from your family and close friends and that comes through loud and clear.
    3. Betty Davis – when Betty Davis Eyes was sung by kim carnes, betty called up Kim and said – thank you for making me cool to my grandchildren.
    – that’s powerful right there.

    And, wont it be great to share this blog with your kids whenever you do? They’ll be able to hear your inside voice because, you and a lot of others write in their inside voice here – and, that’s special.

    You’re special.

    And I’m validating your parking right now.

    JC

  2. L B says:

    yo, you can’t get rid of me if you tried—sorry.

  3. Molly says:

    I am happy to share the wealth. And I would consider the meanie who linked to you yesterday a right of passage. Welcome! 🙂

  4. Stephanie says:

    Congratulations on the increased traffic!

    And what in the world were you doing up at almost 3am? You said don’t ask, but WOW that is late!

  5. Pessimistic Redhead says:

    I struggled with this for awhile when I wrote a post and titled it with lyrics to a popular song. I tripled my traffic for about two weeks and freaked out about trying to keep new readers. I lost 3/4 of them but it seems like a few stuck around. It’s funny how you want to boost traffic but it sometimes makes you lose sight of why you started the blog. Good for you for recognizing this. I’m here to stay!

  6. Yeah as if i am going anywhere! I understand that blogging is more personal not necessarily for others…i lose sight of that sometimes. although would love to have more traffic….peace friend!

  7. cdp says:

    As you know, I’ve been cyber-stalking you for quite some time now. And I plan to continue.

    That is all. Carry on.

  8. JenBun says:

    Awww, Mike, we’re here because we love to read what you have to write, we think the kiddos are adorable, and we like you for YOU!!! You and your mancrushes and “le sigh”s and kids and challenges and heartbreaks and everything else.

    Don’t even change!!! Also? “Don’t stop belieeeeeeeeeevin'” hahaha!

  9. CuriousC says:

    I really like what JC said! What I really like about your blog is the whole circle of friends you’ve created pre-blog and post-blog. It feels like a big happy family here. 🙂


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