The Pressure to, Um, PerformPosted: March 18, 2008
So, now I’ve done it. Well, Molly’s done it, actually.
Thanks to her link yesterday, hundreds more of you have made your way to my little corner of cyberspace. And I appreciate you coming by. I really do.
The pictures of my kids drew more than five times my normal visitors on Monday. And, so far, already today (and I’m writing this at 2:45 a.m….don’t ask), I’ve already received double my usual traffic. And that’s because, according to WordPress, I had a ‘top post’ yesterday and I’m on the list of ‘growing blogs.’
Great stuff. Honest.
But scary, too. Well, OK, scary’s a bit strong. But you know what I mean.
This happened one other time. And I feel like I’ve got to perform now. This is where the thoughts enter my head like, “Hmmm, more people came yesterday. What great post can I put up today in order to keep them if they come back for another look?”
Well, here it is. Because this issue brings up the dilemma I think all bloggers face.
I love the traffic. It’s validation that people at least have some interest in what I’m saying. There’s something incredibly rewarding about that — knowing that you came here to see what I had to say. Or, OK, you came to see more pics of the kids.
Whatever it is, you’re here.
But, then, at the same point, I shouldn’t feel pressure to deliver for you. That’s not why I started this. (Or is it?)
No, I started this for me. My thoughts. My outlet. It shouldn’t matter how many people read it.
Then why does it? Why do I get excited and nervous at the same time? Why do I wonder, ‘hmmm, will they like me and what I have to say, or do they just like the kids? Will they come back, or is this a one shot deal?’
I guess the bottom line is that this space is mine. Sometimes I think it’s very good, from a writing perspective. And sometimes it’s crap from a writing perspective. But it’s my good, and it’s my crap. It wasn’t meant for you — at least not originally.
But, things change.
The fact is, I’m glad you’re here. I really am. (I think.)
Pull up a chair. Take a look around. You might just like what’s here. And if you don’t, that’s fine, too.