Sit Down and Be Proud

So, here I am, writing my 99th post. Who knew I’d make it this far. Certainly not me.

Also, I sort of promised myself that I wouldn’t entertain bathroom posts, particularly about my own actions, until at least the 101st post.

Well, screw that. We’re throwing caution to the wind. I’m writing about it now. Number 99.

Yup, this is me. Living on the edge.

OK, so, the thing is. I’m a guy. This you know. You also know I wouldn’t always fit into the category of ‘typical guy.’ Particularly when it comes to one of my bathroom habits.

I can admit it. I really can. Here goes. Ready?

Hi, I’m Mike. And I’m a SometimesSitter.

Phew. I don’t know how you feel, but I’m feeling much better with that off my chest.

A SometimesSitter.

So what does that mean, actually?

It means that whenever I go the bathroom, of the number one variety, I’m not always standing over the toilet.

Sometimes I sit.

Why? I’m not really sure, but, I do.

And, you know what? I like it.

Let’s look at a couple of examples.

I always sit at work. It’s the easiest, cleanest and most convenient. I work in an office with mostly women. This way, I don’t sprinkle anywhere, I don’t have to worry about putting the seat down. None of that. Just sit down, take a nice little rest and that’s it.

There’s only one other guy in the office, so if the women find any leftovers or if the seat is still up, guess what? It’s him. Not me. I take some comfort in that.

In other public spots, I’ll choose not to be a SometimesSitter. It sort of depends on where and the overall cleanliness situation. But, that’s the benefit of this. I can choose when and where I want to be a SometimesSitter.

I’m almost always a SometimesSitter when I wake up in the morning. As I trudge down the hall to go, I’m too asleep to concentrate on aim and all that stuff. Just sit down and go. What’s the big deal?

Being a SometimesSitter is nothing to be ashamed of. This I know. In fact, I might be ahead of the curve on this one.

So, if there are, in fact, any guys reading this blog, how about it? Are you a SometimesSitter?

It’s OK. In fact, it’s more than OK.

So stand up, er, sit down and be proud.

What else? I got nothin’.


22 Comments on “Sit Down and Be Proud”

  1. molly says:

    Guys have it so easy. In most situations women are a NoWayAmISittingThere Sitter. We have to squat, which can be difficult depending on what outfit/footwear you’re wearing that day. I envy you, SometimesSitter.

    PS- Thanks for not leaving a mess and for putting the seat down. We appreciate it.

  2. Clink says:

    Ha! I agree with Molly – I am usually a NoWayAmISittingThere Sitter.

    Also, I had no idea men sat. I don’t even want to think about the logistics of it, but I’m glad you’re being mindful of the lovely ladies you work with.

  3. Anna says:

    We SO appreciate it. I’m trying to train my three-year-old son to be a sometimesitter, but he is too taken with the whole “pull ’em down and whip it out” thing that he can’t even entertain the notion.

    And believe me, the cleaning crew in his bathroom would appreciate a sometimesitter.

  4. ME says:

    I usually always sit in the morning, as I’m too tired to stand.

    Other than that, I’m pretty much always standing.

  5. verybadcat says:

    Squatters,

    I thoroughly enjoy both of your blogs. If you must squat, please clean up after yourself. This almost-never-squatter doesn’t enjoy sitting in your piss.

    Once upon a time, I worked in a 20 person office. None of us 5 girls squatted. The place was pristine-clean, so there was no need. Well, I guess our contracted marketing girl thought we were all skanks, because she would come in and squat instead of sitting in a perfectly clean bathroom. Of course, she was not a talented or kind squatter, so she ended up spraying piss all over the seat. Forcing us sitters to be squatters for the rest of the day.

    That’s why I named her the Hovercraft- a name she still carries in that office.

  6. jc says:

    JC SAYS

    Sit in the place where you pee
    Point it SOUTH
    And think about the girls
    who have to follow right after you

    If you get confused,
    just check with your son.
    Listen to his reason
    When you have that calling

    Sit in the place where you poop
    Then go pee.

  7. jc says:

    Sit down
    Drop trou
    You’re busted

    kinda like shake down by bob seger – but a little different.

  8. jc says:

    you better sit down
    if you need to pee

    all the girls they’re countin’
    on you

    You sit down when you pee
    there aint no-shame-in-that

    Woo hoo hoo

    come on and pee
    Between your knees

    (For you Grease Fans)

  9. jc says:

    I’m a sitter
    I’m a pee-er
    when i’m pee-in’
    I’m a sitter

    I sit down so i don’t have to stand

    (Steve Miller Band – I’m a Joker)

  10. jc says:

    Missing Persons

    So what are seats for
    Cuz no one’s sittin anymore
    there’s no use sittin at all.

  11. jc says:

    I wonder how you’re peein’
    I’m peein sittin down
    When others choose to stand
    and maaaake a mess

    Peter Frampton 2’Fer (see below 2)

    Oooooo – baby i love to sit
    – when i pee

    Wanna sit when I pee all day
    – every day

  12. jc says:

    Bon Jovi

    Pee in the dark
    and I sit down

    dahlin’ you give sittin and peein’ a bad name

  13. jc says:

    Billy Joel – Extremes

    Sometimes i’m tired
    Sometimes I’m shot
    I don’t want to deal with
    Pee-in’ staning up

    Maybe i’m just finding
    my latest thrill

    Maybe i’ve set others up for the chills

    Maybe I’ll try standing up….

    Darlin’ i dont’ know why i pee sitting down

    when i stand up i just seem to wear a frown

    and if i pee, on the seat
    The girls they will know it was me

    Darlin i don’t know why i pee sitting down

  14. jc says:

    Pee good pee good pee good

    pee good pee good pee good

    pee good pee good pee good

    pee good miiiiiiiikey

  15. jc says:

    How can I sleep if you pee while sitting.

    The time has come, to say fairs fair

    To lift the seat and to be a man!

    Midnite oil

  16. jc says:

    Peeing
    While I’m sitting
    Feels so lovely

    Peeing
    While I sit
    Makes me high

    John Denver

  17. jc says:

    Eddie Money – Walk on water

    Well if i could pee while sitting
    Just think of all i could do
    If i could pee while sitting
    would you….respect me too
    My love is so true.

  18. jc says:

    Queen of Hearts – Juice Newton

    Peeing While Sitting Down
    Turns any frown upside Down

    Standers are the only foooooools
    always peein’ on the seat for you.

  19. jc says:

    Ok – I think i got it outta me….but, with me…u never know.

  20. Anna says:

    WOWOWOWOW. JC, I knew you were creative, but WOW.

    Loving the Joker, esp. Oh, and Santana.

  21. L B says:

    all the SometimesSitter power to you Mike. Be careful though…sometimes a good hover is necessary in the NoWayAmISittingThere situations that Molly referred to. But that is what is nice about you SometimesSitters…you have the options. Who doesn’t want more options?!

  22. Anna says:

    Hey, you’re here! WordPress! Welcome!


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