Pet Peeves

Well, the last post set a record with 11 comments — not that I’m keeping track or anything like that. Not sure this one will top that mark, but I do want your feedback once you’ve read through this.

But, what is this, you ask?

It’s a list of some of my pet peeves.

Wipe the snow off your car. This isn’t hard, people. And, I’m not just talking about getting it off your windows. I’m talking about getting it off the top of your car. You know, so it doesn’t fly back as you accelerate and land on my windshield.

You’re in the wrong line! Twelve items or less means just that. It doesn’t mean 13. And it certainly doesn’t mean 18. The thing about this, I’m just as pissed at the register person here as I am for the person violating the rule. If it looks like more, tell them to go in the other line. Or, if you aren’t sure, but you count as you go, tell them next time to go in the other line. This is why we have rules.

In or out. Which is first? Ok, so I’m on the elevator (or the subway) and my door opens. You know what? I’ve got the right of way. That’s right, let me out before you get on. I hate that. You’re not going to get anywhere faster if you get on first, because I’ve still got to get off. And, you getting on first, well, you just made that more difficult.

You can’t wait 10 seconds? I have road rage. I’m the first to admit. But I think I got it from being in situations where you’re driving down the road with nobody behind you for as far as you can see. Then, what’s that? It’s an idiot pulling out in front of you and then slowing you down to an absolute crawl. Wait until I go by (about 10 seconds) and then do what you please.

There’s no such thing — as a first annual! I hate reading about a First Annual Anything. You know what, unless you’ve had one, it can’t be that! Try just “first” or “innaugural.” Ah, so much better.

Hello. Goodbye. When we’re talking on the phone, don’t end our conversation with “Bye now.” It’s not “now.” It’s just “bye.” Of course it’s now, because that’s when you said it, but you don’t have to announce to the world that you’re saying bye at that exact moment!

Dumb walkers. You know this one. You’re in the mall, leaving a concert or sporting event. Anything with a significant number of people walking at the same time. Well, stick to the rules. Stay on the right. The worst thing you can do? Stop on a dime when people are behind you. Doesn’t matter if there’s something you see or someone you need to talk to. Get out of the way of others before carrying on your business.

I’m sure I’ll think of more. But, what do you think? Tell me one (or more) of your pet peeves.

What else? I got nothin’.

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Weird? For You to Decide

OK. So I’m still relatively new to this whole blog thing. But, safe to say, I think, that we’re off to a good start.

This post represents a milestone in my blogging life. I’ve been tagged. Not exactly sure what that means. I mean, I didn’t feel anything. I just know I’m tagged. And, in the blog world, that means I’m supposed to follow through with the request — which is to tell you, my faithful readers, six weird things about me.

Without further adieu, here goes:

1. I hate wrinkles. Not the kind on skin. The kind on clothes. I can’t leave the house without ironing. Just can’t do it. Sometimes, if I’m dressed in a shirt and tie, I’ll even go so far as to hold my seatbelt off my shirt because I don’t want it to wrinkle. One time, when wearing a shirt prone to wrinkles, I avoided hugging my wife in the morning. Didn’t want her to wrinkle me! Pathetic I know, but what are you going to do? It’s weird.

2. I put mustard on my hamburgers. No ketchup at all. Only put ketchup on meatloaf. And even then, it’s not on the meatloaf. The ketchup goes on the side of the plate and then I dunk the meatloaf in the ketchup with my fork.

3. Going back to the wrinkle thing, sometimes I put my shoes and socks on before I put on my pants. Great visual, I know. But, it doesn’t wrinkle the pants! I just re-read that. I need help.

4. More often than not, I’ll read a magazine from back to front.

5. My iPod has, among many acts, New Kids on the Block. N’Sync. Backstreet Boys. LFO. And, um, yeah, I’m 37.

6. I won’t drink soda out of a plastic bottle unless it has been refrigerated before it’s been opened. It just tastes different. Really.

OK…I’m not tagging anyone. So nobody else has to reveal about themselves. Yet.

What else? I got nothin’.


Ask Questions, Get Answers

I love how this works.

I ask questions, you give answers.

An anonymous source gave me this link in answer to the rocks on the roof question:

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_287.html

And, if you didn’t read the comments about the why do they announce drunk and driving check points, there’s this from my college roommate turned lawyer. He says:

I can offer some insight into the publication of checkpoint locations: it’s called the Constitution. You see, here in America (at least before the Bush Administration gets through with it)we have certain freedoms. One of those freedoms is to be free of unreasonable search and seizures, which a traffic stop certainly may constitute. An unconstitutional stop is one made by the police w/out a reasonable and articulable suspicion. A checkpoint involves just such a situation, so to counterbalance the clear lack of a reasonable and articulable suspicion the Courts have held that the police must do certain things, like publish notice, hold the checkpoint in a place likely to find drunk drivers and establish (or pre-establish, if I could make a play on a previous blog — one that I was clearly the inspiration for) guidelines to prevent cops from pulling over, say, only the white Irish lawyers or the African-Americans (that’s why they have to stop every other car, or every third car, etc…).

Thanks, Chris.

Now, here’s a question I’m not sure anyone can answer.

I’m in the grocery store last night buying Valentine’s Day cards. Me and 50 other guys. Well, one guy is walking around so proudly with his gift for his significant other.

What is it, you ask?

How about one of those ginormous chocolate chip cookies. It gets better. This one was in the shape of a heart, and it had blue frosting around the edge and in the middle where it said Happy Valentine’s Day.

I mean, who in their right mind brings that home? And, if they do, who in their right mind actually enjoys getting it?

That’s all for now.

What else? I got nothin’.


Two Things I Don’t Get

Faithful readers, I give you two posts in two days. Can you stand it?

These two things are ones that are worthy of mention, but perhaps not worthy of a full rant. So, you get the combined effort.

Here we go:

Ever notice what’s on the roof of many commercial buildings, i.e., hospitals, schools, industrial buildings. I’m talking about flat roof buildings.

Why are there rocks on a flat roof? Have you noticed this? I have. I remember the first time I saw it was on the college dorm I lived in freshman year. Most recently, it was on the roof of one of our local casinos.

I don’t understand. Explain it to me, please.

Secondly…

The local paper this morning continued what seems to be a regular practice, at least in these parts. They announce when and — get this — where the next drunk driving checkpoints will be. They are as clear as saying on this date we’ll be on this road.

Now, in now way shape or form am I advocating driving under the influence, but if someone out there sees this and knows they are going to be out that night and may have a few drinks, why are we telling them exactly where the cops will be?

Attention all drunks, avoid Route 32, on St. Patrick’s Day. The cops are going to be there.

Again, I don’t understand. Explain it to me, please.

What else? I got nothin’.


Pay It Forward

Remember that movie? Pay It Forward.

Kevin Spacey. Helen Hunt. Haley Joel Osment. I think.

The premise: do something good. It’s the right thing to do.

Well, I’ve got to do it now.

Why?

Because of the keys.

I lost mine in December. Had them on top of the car. Wife took off for the store. Keys fell off. Search after search after search on the street turned up nothing.

Well, the other night, I’m kicked back in the recliner watching TV. It’s 9:30. Now, we don’t have an official 9 and 9 rule regarding the phone, but whenever it rings late, you always wonder. At least I do.

I couldn’t understand why the Stop & Shop manager was calling me. Until he asked the question:

“Did you lose a set of keys?”

Sure did. Two months ago now.

“Well, they are here.”

Couldn’t believe it. Someone clearly found them and saw my Stop & Shop card on them. They brought them to the store because of that, and the store was able to track me down. The manager thought they were found in the store. But, not in the condition they were, having been run over a few times.

Still, I had two car keys, two house keys, an office key and my speedpass on there.

Nonetheless, someone, whom I’ll never know, found them and did the right thing by bringing them back.

Now it’s my turn.

To Pay It Forward.

What else? I got nothin’.


Emptying a Cluttered Mind

Ok, loyal lurkers, it’s OK to post comments. I know you’ve got them, because you’ve mentioned them to me when we talk. Feel free to say it here. I won’t bite.

Super Bowl is Sunday. I couldn’t care less. I almost feel less American for writing that. But, without my team in it (when they should be), it’s really all about commercials for me. And snacks.

New musical favorites: Mat (yup, only one ‘t’) Kearney, Death Cab for Cutie and Augustana. They have finally taken over Dora the Explorer songs as ‘most played’ on my iPod.

Word pet peeve: you can’t have a first annual anything. It can’t be annual if it hasn’t happened yet!

Word pet peeve #2: there is no pre-heating the oven. Once you turn it on, guess what? It’s heating! The only time your oven, then, is pre-heating is when it’s not on.

Word pet peeve #3: the same goes for pre-boarding an airplane. “Children traveling alone, those with special needs, you can now pre-board.” No you can’t. Once you start toward the plane, guess what? You’re boarding!

Sorry. That stuff just drives me crazy.

I’m watching the American Idol auditions for the first time. And liking it. There, I said it. I like to watch people be made fun of. You do, too.

Fun kid comment of the week. The boy was playing with his Thomas engines, specifically Gordon and Henry. “Gordon and Henry friends, daddy.”

“That’s right, buddy, they are. Who, though, is your best buddy?”

“Mommy and Daddy.”

Aw, man.

No real weekend plans. And that’s OK.

Not one funny thing in this blog. That’s not OK.

What else? I got nothin’.