Concert Critique

Wife and I went to see Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band last night.

He was fabulous. Much better than expected. His voice was incredibly strong. And, while he might not have the best stage presence, it wasn’t half bad for someone who is 61.

But, I’m not here to review the performance of Seger and friends, other than what I’ve already written.

No. I’m here to write about some of the 9,000 people that were at the show with us.

See, concerts, if anything, are an amazing place to people watch — particularly at a show like this when the average age of the audience is, well, on the older side of things.

I’m a music guy. I’ve been to, oh, I don’t know, a lot of live shows. Easily more than 50. At this point, it’s probably closer to 100.

Many of the things you see at concerts are universal. Some have been happening for a long time. Some, well, are newer, dare I say it, ‘traditions.’

For instance, I’m sure you’ve noticed the guy (because, for some reason, it is a guy who does this 9 times out of 10) who has his cellphone to his ear. He’s not calling home to check in on the babysitter. He’s calling the guy he knows half way around the arena so they can wave to each other.

I mean, are you kidding? What’s the point here? And, I’ve gotta think it’s always the guy in the better seats that initiates the call. You know. To rub it in that he has better seats. This, and many other things, are even funnier when it’s a 45-year-old guy doing it.

My other new favorite thing to mock is the high fivers. You know, the group of buddies who are coming to the show together. They get so excited about a song, that when it’s over, they have to give each other high fives. You’re kidding me, right? No, apparently they aren’t. Get. A. Life.

The waver is another favorite. Most times, artists will move from side of the stage to other to give everyone a chance to get an up close look at the star. I love this. Because it’s then that you always see people wave their hands like crazy and scream at the top of their lungs. Now, keep in mind, the guy on stage can’t see a damned thing with the lights, but the fans are certain they saw them wave or whatnot.

My other least favorite thing is after a show. When 9,000 people leave one place, it can get a little crowded. That’s fine. Just learn how to walk. Please.

Don’t you just love the couple, for example, that decides to literally stop in the middle of an area to discuss something — causing everyone behind them to change their walking plan (what, you don’t have one?) on the fly. Move it to the side and then have your discussion. Don’t you dare have it in the middle of my walking plan.

I mean, the nerve of people.

So, what drives you crazy at a concert?

What else? I got nothin’.

4 Comments on “Concert Critique”

  1. ME says:

    Ha! All those people, and others, always make attending concerts a great event. You forgot to mention the really old, really hideous women that dress quite scantily, as if they had the body they did 30 years ago.

  2. Molly says:

    I hate the screamers. “Ahhhh!!!! Oh my God I looooooove you! Ahhhh!” Seriously. I did not pay good money to hear you scream. Shut up.

    I also don’t like the people off to the side of the crowd twirling around all “yeah, man” no matter what genre of music it is. It’s usually women, but it’s even funnier when it’s a guy.

  3. jc says:

    Couple of notes:

    1. You’re getting old and cynical. The excitement of being at a concert and remembering the singer bringing you back to a place years ago….wow….it’s an incredible feeling. Whenever I hear the St Elmo’s Fire Love Theme (with lyrics), I always think of the video that Liz did for you guys.
    2. You’re only 37 and you’re not a high-fiver….no worries…you get excited in your own way. Look at the Pete Sampras commercial from years ago with John McEnroe….Sampras was excited, he just expressed it differently than others.
    3. When I was in college – Marist College that is – I went to see The Ramones at “the chance” and Fuzzy Bob was there. That, in itself…was worth it right there.

    Whenever I think of high fives, I think of a girl named Amy and her boyfriend Carl from many many years ago I was casual friends with and Amy told me a story of how she was at a bed and breakfast and some woman was speaking with her and was pretty snobby…with this in mind, Amy was a waitress and Carl worked construction….at the end of Amy and Snob lady’s conversation, snob lady said something about the room with the hot tub….Amy informed her it was THEIR room. She then said she and Carl gave eachother high – fives, etc… It was at that moment that I thought of the song by Dionne Farris called “I know” and I changed the words to:

    i know who you’re doin’ Amy
    i know why you call him baby

    She cracked up. So did I.

    So, when you go away for a few days and you don’t see your wife or son, during that time, you come home….do you get excited to see them or do you sit on the chair and turn on the TV? Maybe you give the mrs a high five (in your own way) and a little high five to “the boy”.

    Only you know the answer to that question my friend.

  4. elizabeth says:

    I think you forgot someone very important: The guy who is calling his friend/friend’s voice mail so they can share in the concert experience. Instead the friend experiences what it would be like if they were, say, abducted by aliens…that’s what it would sound like, I think.

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